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You’re better off focusing on reality than fantasy, my friend, my vampire sent.
I cut off their impending fight with a sharp intake of breath. My hands had slid into my pockets, fingers on the right sliding over something smooth and small.
“No way,” I breathed, fishing out the red plastic heart. “How did they miss it?” And why hadn’t Jiao told them about it?
My demon chortled her glee. Who cares how or what that traitor was thinking? We still have it. That has to count for something.
I was willing to accept that more than my vampire’s need for reality.
Gabriel. Shaylee’s soft voice shook with hope. Maybe we can use it to reach him.
I didn’t wait or second guess myself. I tried. And hit the same gross, sludgy wall.
Even my vampire seemed vexed when I finally gave up and glared at the only exit, a heavy metal door with a small, barred window hole at the top.
So much for that idea. Shaylee shivered. Sorry.
Don’t be, I sent. I’m not leaving here without Max anyway.
And the traitorous Jiao, my demon sent. I’ll drag her lóng ass kicking and screaming all the way home just to see the look on her face when I show her how much we disapprove of her actions.
Usually my demon’s bluster made me sigh. In this moment, I embraced it, if only to feel powerful for a second.
Why didn’t they take the heart? My vampire’s musing was the last thing I wanted to think about. I paced the stone floor, prodding the shields at odd intervals in an attempt to test their strength. Nothing changed. Naturally.
Maybe Creator protected it from them finding it? That could have happened, though my demon sounded like she didn’t believe it, either.
Or, more likely, Shaylee sent, whatever Trill did to disguise it is hiding it.
That did make sense. But surely, if she betrayed us—and she had, hadn’t she?—Jiao would have told them about it.
Not one of the girls had an answer for that. So I switched lines of thought. Why did Trill send us here? I hated the faint wail in my mental voice as I jerked myself to a halt, resisting the urge to pinch myself to pull my pounding heart under control. It was hard not to feel like a rat in a trap, to fall into helplessness.
No way. Not doing it.
There has to be a purpose. The reasonable tone in my vampire’s voice calmed me. I held onto her as she went on. While you might doubt her, I have had my ideas about Trillia Zornov from the beginning. I don’t think she’s betrayed us, only done what Creator intended.
Fate, damn it. I’d run headlong into it so many times I was about ready to toss everything and become a hermit.
Whatever the reason, my vampire sent, we must stand fast against what comes next.
I didn’t like the fear in her voice or the answering terror in my heart.
What do you mean? My demon sounded wary but as if she didn’t get it. Not like we did.
Dark Brother. Shaylee whispered the name and my demon flinched.
You think he’s actually here? I’d never heard her voice squeak before.
We can handle anything, my vampire sent.
A god? Shaylee sighed. I think you overestimate us.
I clutched at the heart in my hand, returned it to my pocket. If he finds it, we lose everything.
Then, that secret we focus on, my vampire sent. Everything else he comes for, he can take. But that is ours to keep.
Easier said than done. But it was something to hold onto. And, a moment later as the darkness in my cell increased, the pressure of something massive approaching driving the breath from my body and making my knees collapse under me, I wondered if we had the strength for even that.
Dark Brother was coming. No. He was here.
I’d feared him since Gabriel opened the first Gateway, since seeing his black form, flames for eyes and mouth, felt the devouring hunger of his presence. There were times I’d been woken by nightmares of that experience, driven to the brink of sobbing in my sleep from terror.
And he’d still been on the other side.
This was far different. More intimate. And, as Dark Brother’s weight settled around me and devoured me, I felt no pride, no shame when I screamed my sanity away.
***
Chapter Twenty Eight
I don’t know what I expected. A voice, maybe, a personality? I encountered nothing of the sort when Dark Brother swarmed over me and swallowed me whole. Laid me bare in an instant to the core of my spirit, dug deep into everything that made me who I was and tore it loose to examine closely while I could do nothing.
Nothing.
Power like I’d never felt engulfed me and ate me alive while I screamed and screamed without a single sound emerging from that thick, impenetrable blackness.
I couldn’t even be afraid. All emotion, every thought, down to the barest bits and pieces of my makeup was taken and shaken and discarded as Creator’s sibling used me up for what I knew and threw me away.
And I’d thought to conceal anything from that presence? Considered myself strong enough to hide even the basest of secrets? I had no idea. No. Idea.
He finally left me, a puddle of nothing that I recognized of myself on the floor of my cell. The stone under my numb cheek had become soaked with tears and saliva from my gaping mouth. Battered and bruised within, aching from the blackness of his assault, I could do nothing but stare into the emptiness of the quiet prison and block it all out.
It was the soft, insistent nudging at my right hand that finally broke me free of my paralysis, drawing my attention where I thought curiosity dead. My chin tipped, my gaze traveling down to my hip. I was on my side, partially turned over, right hand a limp and lifeless thing that felt detached from my body. When my fingers twitched it had nothing to do with my actions. No, it was the quivering, shimmering lump of black bouncing like it was alive in my palm that triggered a visceral response.
My fingers closed over the smooth, warm ribbon of darkness that normally clung to my wrist. And, when they fell open again, it slithered loose of its tight, tense orb shape, sliding yet again around my flesh and squeezing tight.
Leaving the small, pulsing thing it had protected against my skin.
Plastic heart, dented on one side, a broken clasp at the top where once maybe it had hooked to a keychain or a necklace. At least, that’s how it appeared. I knew better. And the moment I registered the piece of Creator was safe, it began to glow.
With a gentleness that was the only antidote to the cruel destruction of Dark Brother, Creator’s kind heart reached within me and began the healing process.
Again, I had no idea what real power felt like, not until this day when first the evil of one side tore me to pieces leaving the goodness of the other to put me back together again. I have no idea how long it took for Creator’s heart to undo enough I could sit up. I wiped at the moisture on my face with disgust and loathing, resting my forehead on my bent knees. Sobs escaped, at last, crushing, devouring things that needed to emerge so I could come the rest of the way back.
I wasn’t alone in the gentle ministrations of the power of the heart. The girls returned to me, slowly and with great hurt, embracing me when they were able to accept what had been done to us. I never missed them so much as I did when they came back to me this time. Nothing like losing them to quiet sleep when I’d been drach. Far worse than even when my demon left me on purpose. Their pain and suffering was my pain and suffering, multiplied by three.
I think I slept then, sitting up with my arms around my knees, the warmth of Creator passing through me and into the girls inside my head. All I know is when I opened my eyes again, I felt more myself than I had a right to after what we’d endured.
Anger woke with me. My favorite.
We won’t survive that again. My vampire’s quiet acceptance was shared by all of us. I clenched my hand around the heart of Creator and pulled myself to my feet, body aching from the awkward position we’d been in, head throbbing and soul full of fury.
Big talk, considering. But I couldn’t contemplate even for a second another encounter with Dark Brother. The very thought made me want to fall to my knees and scream all over again. Carefully, with the help of the trio of personalities in my mind, I walled off all memory of his presence, of the assault. We’d deal with it later.
Maybe.
I did a quick check of my power, found we were none the worse for wear physically and energetically at least. The mental and emotional abuse… well. Walls of denial were made for this kind of thing.
Oddly, my white sorcery seemed the least affected, humming softly in response when I reached for it. As though Dark Brother’s attack hadn’t touched it.
Could it be possible? Shaylee sounded shaken.
Creator’s ultimate magic never reached this Universe if what we know is true, my vampire sent.
Well, the cat’s out of the bag now, my demon snarled.
Maybe, I sent. Maybe not. After all, Belaisle must have known about it, thanks to Jean Marc. So I doubt it’s a huge secret. But it might be something Dark Brother has chosen to ignore if he doesn’t understand it. Like he had anything to fear. Or thought he did. Arrogance could work in our favor. I rubbed at the black ribbon around my wrist, sent it thanks for protecting the heart. Because I’d failed utterly.
Its answering power embrace gave me a bit of hope, at least. And triggered a flash of recognition. I knew this soul, was far more open to it in this moment than I’d been all along, thanks to Dark Brother. But who was it? There was enough of a difference its identity eluded me. But I did know it, of that I was certain.
Who then in this Universe—which of the drach—was it?
I paced the four walls of the stone cell, once large enough it seemed, now tiny to my desperate need to escape. Any and all attempts to reach Gabriel were blocked by the slithering, slimy shielding. I was just throwing my energy away. Finally, anger at a peak, ready to try smashing my way out despite knowing it was a lost cause, I paused in the center of the room and clenched myself against the truth.
Trapped. I was trapped. And there was absolutely no way out. I’d never in my life felt so helpless. There was always something, a way to be made, a chance of escape or an opportunity to fight back. But right here, right now, nothing.
I looked down at the heart in my hand. Could I access the power of Creator to beat my way out? The moment my mind latched onto that possibility the faint warmth of the piece died and the heart went silent.
I tried not to think of it as a traitor, considering it had saved me. And wondered then where the voice of it was, the personality that seemed to live inside each piece. Wished it would talk to me, even if it was as frustrating and irritating as some of the other pieces had been.
Silence. And hopelessness.
There is a reason we are here. We all focused on my vampire when she spoke. Clung to her words as a unit when she went on. Fate has led us to this place. And it’s time we trusted Creator’s plan.
Could I toss my own fears and doubts and just trust?
Do you have a choice? My vampire’s soft whisper was for me alone.
So hard, giving up my free will for the faith she suggested. Impossible, maybe. The woman I’d become had been created in fire and strife, taught to think for herself, to act and believe in her own power and the strength of her will. And here I was, that woman, trying to step back from everything I’d learned. Everything I'd been taught by time and Fate and battle, and just abandon it for belief this was the way things were supposed to happen.
I know, my vampire sighed. And yet?
And yet.
Creator had a plan for me. I was Doombringer. For good or ill, like it or not, I was here, now, in this place, at this time, with no hope and no prospects, the heart of the Universe in my hands.
Letting go felt like quitting.
Until I did it, in a rush of need so powerful I gasped. Covered my face in my hands, the hard plastic heart pressed to my lips. And felt Her pulse against my cold skin in a hug of magic.
When I dropped my hands, looked down, I saw at last the stone shape of the real heart outlined faintly in my grasp, though the piece itself remained in its disguised form.
And nodded to it. No. To Her.
You won’t let me die here, I sent to Her.
No, She answered, faint, distant.
Okay then. Faith it was.
I actually felt better, hopeful, calm. Funny, nothing had really changed about my situation. And everything had.
Even more so when the door to my cell clanged, the lock turning, and the way opened. I looked up, feeling the most at peace I had since I was drach, and stared down the tall, armor clad figure who entered my prison, power radiating from him like a shroud of darkness.
The Order had come for me.
I was ready.
***
Chapter Twenty Nine
No attack came, no demands or even conversation. The soldier of the Order simply stood there, observing me through the slits in his shining helmet, tall, wide shouldered body rigid and observant.
I glared back, beginning to feel like a rat in a glass box, hating the trapped knot of anxiety in my stomach. I’d embraced the peace Creator’s heart offered but old habits die hard. It was far easier to return to the familiar anger I used as my shield for so long. Finally, when so much time passed my discomfort no longer allowed me to stay silent, I crossed my arms over my chest and tossed my head.
“Well?” My voice crackled, snapping with fury and frustration. “What are you waiting for?” I was so ready for the impending fight. He didn’t stand a chance.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Hayle. And maybe you’d survive another ten seconds.
A sound emerged from behind his helmet, so unexpected I felt my face crumple in shock, all the anger running out of me a moment, only to surge back when I realized the bastard was laughing.
He was laughing. At me.
Oh, no he did not.
“You won’t find my foot up your ass very damned funny,” I snarled.
His gauntleted hands reached up, removed his helmet. I clenched my jaw against what might be underneath, though I knew the Order soldiers were as human appearing as I was. I wasn’t expecting to find him attractive. Pale gray eyes and dirty blond hair, the way his jaw darkened from his need to shave or the fact there was something achingly and instantly recognizable about him I couldn’t put my finger on.
No. I didn’t know him. It was my need to find a way to escape driving me to connect with him so I could get the hell out of here. That was all.
Even the girls seemed doubtful about my logic, but all of us let it go as he spoke.
“I’m shocked by such unladylike threats,” he said in a deep, expressive voice, full, wide lips turning up on one side in a smile. Laughter lurked in his gaze, in the set of his shoulders as he tucked his helmet under one arm. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
Splutter. What the hell was this? Torture by snark?
He looked me up and down, raking me purposely with his gaze. When he met my eyes again, one of his arching eyebrows lifted, still with humor on his handsome face. “You’re the Doombringer?”
My jaw jumped. Arrogant asshat. I can’t say why I was so offended by his casual and jovial attitude. Except this was serious business, wasn’t it? His damned god just stripped me bare and left me for mush. His people wanted me dead, had captured and imprisoned me, were trying to break into my Universe and take over. And this was funny to him?
“So they tell me.” I pulled myself to my full height, knowing my reach was no match for his well over six feet. And took stock of myself with grim embarrassment I crushed with anger. Okay, so maybe I didn’t look all that impressive at the moment. Not with my white t-shirt filthy and torn, my jeans about the same shape, the laces of one sneaker dangling dangerously around my ripped tread. I blew absently at a stray lock of hair that had escaped what remained
of my ponytail and did my best to look impressive anyway.
He smirked.
Of anything he could have done at that moment, smirking was the wrong choice. I snarled under my breath and let some power out.
“I’m in stealth mode,” I said.
He laughed out loud at that, a ringing sound, rich and vibrant. It offended me to the core of my being. I have no idea how I refrained from crossing the distance between us and punching him in the face, but I did. Good for me.
He finally stopped, genuine humor fading at last, though his smile never left him. And, in that instant, he delivered another massive shock as he stepped aside, clearing the exit, one arm extended as he freed his helmet with the other and gestured for me to precede him.
“Are you going to stand there all day?” The metal sang like a struck bell as he lifted the helm to face height and paused, grinning. “Or are you going to come with me?”
“Why should I?” My question stopped his hands, the helmet part way over his face. When he finally lowered it the rest of the way, his good humor came through in the hollow echo of his voice.
“I thought you wanted to save the Universe, Sydlynn Hayle.” He paused, waited, expectant.
A trap, a trick. My demon’s power swirled in acute agitation.
Possibly, Shaylee sent, troubled herself but more trusting than any of us, it felt like.
Softening us up, my demon sent. We should stay put.
And do what, exactly? My vampire sighed. Let’s find out what he wants. It’s not as though we have much choice anyway, do we?
She was right. He could force us to go.
He could try. My demon was going to be a problem, clearly.
Trust. Faith. Belief. It was all or nothing, wasn’t it? And from the way he stood there, quiet and non-confrontational, I had to choose to do as Creator asked me and just take that leap of hell yeah.
If this is some tactic of theirs, we’ll be ready. As ready as we could be, under the circumstances. That assurance seemed to make my demon settle at least. But confusion and the need to trust wasn’t a happy mix while I stepped forward, the fight going out of me briefly as I grasped firmly onto Fate and Creator’s heart, the black ribbon tight around my wrist.